tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14727386867881813122024-03-13T01:46:46.925-06:00PropitiationThis blog is a compilation of revelations of Jesus Christ and my journey throughout. . .The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-64562394951822933932011-08-01T00:33:00.002-06:002014-11-11T00:00:09.565-06:00Blame<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of the best songs ever!<br />
<br />
Blame by L.S.U. (Michael Knott)<br />
<br />
"i'll pick you up when you go down<br />
i'll fight your battle very time<br />
i'll ride with you to bring you 'round<br />
though the doubts form in your mind<br />
<br />
i'll take the blame<br />
<br />
so if your mind hurts from this sound<br />
and you can't see beyond this wall<br />
forget that heavy load right now<br />
i'll be the one who'll take the fall<br />
<br />
i'll take the blame<br />
away right now<br />
<br />
i'll show you heaven in this town<br />
you'll have to love more than you know<br />
but when it all starts to fall down<br />
just trust in me and i will show you" <br />
<br />
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The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-54426328077585164692011-01-11T02:27:00.002-06:002011-01-11T03:02:28.196-06:00What would we do?So, presently many of us live in an enviroment of extreme accessibility to much. We are surrounded with so much stuff, so much 'temptation', such ease and comfort that it can be distracting and hard to resist. Seriously, if we didn't have such access to junk food there would be a whole lot less overweight people on this continent. But no, we have tv, internet, gaming etc all of which add to the obesity epidemic. It is like telling the kids in a candy store, 'No!' It won't get you far. . .<br /><br />Have you ever read 'Little House on the Prairie'? When the kids got brought peppermint sticks back from town, or given an actual doll they were so delighted. It was such a privilege. And now kids practically live in a candy store. And then we watch these video clips posted on facebook about these amazing people sacrificing their comfort and feeding the poor in poverty stricken places. And so many ooh and awe over it and talk about how godly that is and how the bible says we should do this and how amazing that person is for doing that. C'mon! Do you really think for a moment that if you walked out your door this moment and your eyes fell on a person writhing in the ditch, starving and diseased that you would walk right by and do nothing????!!!! No way! No flipping way would we do that! In spite of our luxurious lifestyle, surrounded by excess pleasures, there is no way we wouldn't stop for that one suffering in the ditch. Christ our Life has so moved within us that for us to tend to that person's needs would NOT be based on obedience. It would be based on LOVE. Based on Can't NOT. Because who we really are is revealed when the opportunity presents itself. Who we are is not based on the temptations surrounding us. Who we are is who we are. Ones who have surrendered to the majesty of Christ and His lovely power within. <br /><br />Obedience? People have asked me how do I do what paul (or one of those other jewish fellows who's writings were compiled by the Roman's) writes to various groups of believers. Like how do I do that wifely obedience stuff. Umm, well, I don't. I don't like to ACT. This life is not a play, for which I rehearse to play a part. All I know is that the more I experience of Jesus' freedom, the more I free others around me. The more I experience and perceive the love of God the more I can love others around me. And, as Paul so succintly put it, Love does not seek its own. Yeah, there are days were I give into selfish mindsets and I do not free and love those around me. And my father kindly gives me a perhaps not so gentle shove in order to get me back into His love groove. That's a shove I am grateful for. I much prefer his love groove. And that is regarding the everydayness of dealing with other people, who have there own days out of the love groove. But when it comes to dealing with the suffering and the down trodden I am compelled by His irrestible love and I can't not reach out. No one has to preach obedience to me. God is not about automons doing his bidding. How absolutely dull and loveless. He is about love. And quite frankly, His love is irresistable when we are truly experiencing it.<br /><br />So, next time you see someone in distress and find yourself doing something about it and then someone comes along and films your good works and then uses you as an example as what CHRISTIANS SHOULD DO. Well then, you can just roll your eyes and keep walking. This aint no performance for a critical and demanding audience. This is love, embodied in His Children of Light. Christ in us, the Hope of glory.The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-47424845696480238142010-11-06T04:26:00.000-06:002010-11-06T04:27:25.073-06:00TrueI<br /><br />am grieved. The 'oddest' thing gives way to reveal what is really there. And I have been building a false image. A false image that feeds off the praise of people. I am overcome with emotion in the midst of realizing what it is I have been doing. In my busyness of erecting this image based off of the false belief that my identity lies within how I am perceived and thusly treated I have been limited to pour out what is life. And then, restless, awkward, frustrated I read the obscure but true writings of one who is trying to convey how we have all got caught up in living half a life and missing the other because we are so busy trying. Trying to be that which we already are. And I see how I have treated others that I naturally find draining. Because I am not drinking I haven't much drink to give. But to see beyond the neediness, the need to know that I am okay. I am loved. I am accepted. The needy have need of this. And because they only know how to take, for they have this need to feed this need and it becomes an obsession veiled in false giving. False giving is that which is given in order to get. And it is easy to fall into that mentality. When you don't realize what you are full of. It is completely selfish and completely vain and completely futile. When we try to fulfill that need, we are doing the complete opposite of that which would fulfill the need. For we can NOT fill that need. For all the manipulating, controlling, cajoling, striving in the world cannot fill that need to be perfectly loved. And because we are so accustomed to fulfilling our own needs we don't realize quite the complex images we have created to reach that pinacle that can never be reached. <br /><br />And for me, I have to experience humiliation of the image in order to see that the image was all it was and it was bearing no fruit. And I realize I have cut people off or down because I was operating out of falsehood to a certain extent. And there aint a whole lotta love when I moved out in that manner. I don't need to lift myself up. I am lifted up. I don't need to get love. I am loved. I don't need to reject others. I am accepted. I don't need to condemn. I am free. I don't need to find faults. I am faultless. I don't need to envy. I am perfect. I don't need to strive to obtain. I have all that I could ever need. <br /><br />We fear and then we need to assauge that fear. Some coddle the fear, some collapse from the weight. Some run from the fear, some take anxiety pills. Some have nervous breakdowns. Some try to outsmart fear. Some pretend they are not afraid and some hide in delusions. Whatever the response - it sure doesn't resemble love. And when/where we aren't seeing the truth we aren't giving truth. And truth begets love. And falsehood begets all sorts of nasty miserable things. Because the truth is that we are absolutely and perfectly loved and accepted and our identy isn't wrapped up in stupid selfish things we have done or stupid selfish things people have done to us. Jesus makes all things new. Here comes the rain.The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-60667774869336416122010-07-13T04:55:00.003-06:002010-07-13T05:00:46.909-06:00Quite the song and video. . .<object width="340" height="225"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-WybvhRu9KU&hl=en_US&fs=1?rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-WybvhRu9KU&hl=en_US&fs=1?rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="340" height="225"></embed></object>The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-11135088688687977842010-06-12T01:29:00.002-06:002010-06-12T01:45:21.111-06:00A quote for youI was purusing an 'endtime prophecies' page the other day, randomly clicking on a couple of the entries when I came across this. I generally am cautious and somewhat cycnical when it comes to many "prophecies", esp ones of warnings and doom etc, but this one I found interesting because it was someone speaking of what someone spoke to him 45 years ago. I have heard of this person who 'spoke these words' and I am quite cautious regarding much of what he was known for teaching. . . with all that said I leave this for your discernment:<br /><br />'Anyway, we went on in the restaurant. And here’s what I’m supposed to be telling. We went on in the restaurant, got our food, and we sat down. I’m ashamed to say this, but can I just tell it like it was. I’m just going to tell the truth. I had in my mind back then that if Brother Branham hired me for an advance man, why I could really help him have big crusades or so I thought. Now, of course, that was my carnal brain. I had helped a few preachers put some ads in the paper and I had thought I had the answers for the preachers’ advertisements.<br /><br />But Brother Branham, he was sitting there and I said, “Brother Branham, you know you’re only in your 50’s. You’ve got plenty of energy. If you just had the right promotion you could have the biggest crusades you’ve ever had.” He looked at me and smiled and dropped his head. He said, “No son,” he said, “You see, that’s not the way God planned it.”<br /><br />That wasn’t really what I wanted to hear, but how do you tell William Branham something you didn’t want to hear? He was speaking for God and I was listening with my old carnal brain. I said, “What do you mean, Brother Branham?” He said, “Well, you see, God’s through with me.” And I almost fell off my seat. I said, “What do you mean about that? You’ve got plenty of years left?” He said, “Well, my season has come to a close.”<br /><br />He went on to explain how he had been part of a great season of healing revivals. He mentioned all the voice of healing preachers, many of them. He mentioned Brother Allen and others. He had been in some of my father’s meetings, and he was kind to mention that. Dad had a great Holy Ghost anointing. Dad and my mother could get more people through the baptism than Elvis Presley could get in his concert. Sometimes 1500 people could get the baptism, because they had a love to see people get the Holy Ghost.<br /><br />We need a fresh infilling and baptism into the Holy Spirit. I’m not just talking about tongues, that’s wonderful; we’re going to have to learn to walk in the Spirit to get the job done in this hour.<br /><br />Brother Branham said, “I’ve been in this season where we laid hands on people one at a time and we saw blind eyes open, cancers disappear, the lame walk. And oh, it was wonderful.” But he said, “I am about to leave you because God is done with me but another season is coming. <strong>And this season is going to be teaching and revelation of the Word of Jesus Christ; who we are in Him and who He is in us.” Not just Jesus hanging on the Cross. That’s wonderful. But religion will leave Him on the Cross.</strong><br /> <br />Brother Branham went on to emphasize, “<strong>It’s about Jesus in us and us in Him</strong>.” And he said, “This teaching season will go for a while, and then it will come to a close. And God is going to take every move of God in history, and even what we witnessed and what we saw in Bible days, and put it all together in one great Holy Ghost bomb and drop it on Planet Earth and the nations will rock and reel with the power of God like we’ve never seen.”The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-41246289077325724322010-06-06T02:46:00.002-06:002010-06-06T03:09:59.429-06:00WowIt's been a long time eh! I didn't realize that I haven't written on this blog in so long! Since I started working eh. . . <br /><br />So I started out at this Personal care home cleaning, moved on to cooking for 30 or so residents and now I am doing personal care, where sometimes I am the one in charge, giving medications (including insulin), monitering health, cleaning people, even changing a colostomy bag here and there. If you are already a nurse that may not faze you, but for me it is a big deal. I never thought I would actually be capable of caring for people in such a physically intimate and fragile manner. It has been really trying at times, learning all that has to be learned. Pushing out past my shyness (in front of people who have worked there longer). I have had to be firmer than I feel comfortable being because there is no one I can go to to do it for me. It has taken alot of guts. ha ha literally. It can also be freaky if one starts to think how easily one could just up and die on me, while they were in my care. It has been straining at times. Nights where I just couldn't sleep, because of the stress of going beyond my comfort level. Send me to another country before you have me give a stranger a bath. I always thought I was pretty gutsy. I like to travel and just take off here or there. But boy, what a wimp I actually have been. I hate taking responsibility. Of course, once could say, don't take it on, let Jesus do it through you. It's all in His hands. Well yes, that is true, but it is so much easier said than done! <br /><br />I have felt lonely in the midst of this. I feel like I have gone down a road that only I have gone down in my circle of friends here. I know it may seem silly, I only work a few days a week, but I guess I just feel drained. Like I would love someone around me to coddle me. Be able to just love on me freely. I really do get that from my kids, but there is something to be said for having someone stronger than me to lean on when I get worn out. I just don't have anyone like that around me and I wonder if I ever will. . . Okay, I guess maybe not til heaven, when everyone is solidly comprehending love. . . I guess I really just want Jesus to show up physically and hold me. I need to experience His love way way way more than I have. I am tired of just living and getting little glimpses of his love. I need more, people. I need to be consumed by the fire of His love. Blown away, overcome, undone. Just gonna publicly announce this (yet again) so that you may all rejoice with me when I actually start to experience this love fire again.<br /><br />okay. . .The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-10291473177709214322010-02-02T00:04:00.003-06:002010-02-02T00:43:27.821-06:00Nothing Else MattersSomething Dan was inspired to compile a few weeks back. . .<br /><br /><OBJECT id=BLOG_video-591a73023c8e9257 class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="591a73023c8e9257"></OBJECT>The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-91619114530191713822010-01-14T00:11:00.002-06:002010-01-14T00:43:39.016-06:00WorkingI started a job. A very part-time job.<br /><br />I am cleaning and doing personal laundry at a small retirement home. There isn't a dire need for me to work, but it seemed like something purposeful. Like me and Jesus could walk in the place and clean their toilets and dirty clothes and give em a quiet smile. Because my livelihood does not depend on having that job I can do it with far less burden and far more freedom than if I was under the illusion that I actually depended on it. ha ha<br /><br />When I was an older child and teen we used to go sing Christmas carols at retirement homes. And almost as soon as I would go in those places I would start bawling and cause my parents great consternation. I hated going in there. It hurt too much. I felt way too much lonliness and pain. Now, I really didn't know what was going on. Why I felt such pain and dread of going in, but as I reflect on it I realize that it is because I have a feeling ability. My middle child has it too. We don't exactly know what to do with it at times because it is intense and over-rides common sense. We aren't particularly helpful in the midst of it. I guess some could call it burden bearing or something like that. . . <br /><br />Like you know how Matthew has that song 'Lord of the Dance' posted up on his page. It totally reminded me of the time that I had started as (clueless) head cook for an Anglican summer camp. And the pre camp staff get-together people were singing that song. And they were all goofing off while they were singing about Jesus dying. And I started bawling. Cause I I knew that most of them had no clue what was coming out of their mouths, no clue about the awesomeness of what Jesus did for them and How much he loved. Dan looked at me as if I was loopy too (we were newly married :). I couldn't stop crying. It was the same summer that our friend was 'born again' and sharing at that camp and then Dan shared the reality and I just bawled the whole way through at the back and then was able to mention how much God loved them in the midst of all the pain these kids, these people had been through. I have shared this story before. . .<br /><br />I share all this to say, that even as I write this I am seeing that the reason I go through and have recently been going through so much up and down is really quite due to this feeling ability. . . I am feeling a lot. And it can be hard on me - restless sleep, anxiety etc, when I pick up on stuff. It's like I have this antenna on me tuning into all these frequencies around me and if I forget or listen to the worry lies etc then I will get kinda down. But when I know that I am just picking up on feelings around me and it isn't 'me' then I am ok. Then I can cry freely, knowing that I am not crazy, but that God is loving in and through this unique vessel of mine. That is why I can go into a retirement home and not bawl the whole time. Because I have hope for the hopeless. I can feel their pain and cry with them, but I can also point them to the healer. Though I sense that there will be days where I will be more sensitive and may well bawl the whole day I am there. But it will not be hopeless. Wailing at the wall. . . ha ha. . . and the walls some tumbling down.<br /><br />Isn't it easy to take things on and own them - as though those thoughts or lies orginated with us. But no. We all have unique tuners and when he shows us how our tuners work it is much easier to rest. Because it is never on us in a burdensome sort of way. It's just that we are all so specially made. We have special ways to maneuver with Him, in Him, through Him on this planet. The core is Love. The core is Jesus. The outlets are all so unique. One body, many parts. . .The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-54672979492080095862010-01-13T11:18:00.009-06:002010-01-13T12:41:44.210-06:00HomeschoolingI homeschool my kids. Not because I am especially patient and organized. Just cause I feel like that is the right driection to go in. I am a little on the protective side when it come to young children. And since I am a bit of a non-conformist I have taken advantage of being able to teach my own children instead of having an insitutionally trained teacher teach my child. <br /><br />However, I must confess to chaffing against the vast majority of homeschool curriculum as well. It seems that with all the good intentions there is so much institutionalism of a more legalistic mindset that pervades the homeschooling genre. In other words, I am more drawn to the unschooling frame, because it isn't so much a system as it is a way to learn in a more natural habitat. Alas, i suck at it - ha ha. I intinctively rebel against the box, but I also am just learning myself what it means to live in a wind blown / directed enviroment. So, as it happens for all those of us who have entered into the Way, it is something that is learned by response as apposed to learned systemically. <br /><br />There is no clear cut direction to take at times. And in those moment of unknowing I naturally tend toward trying to understand which only serves to confuse me and cause me to live out of befuddlement.<br /><br />And guys, it feels like a battle. In this aloneness, in the barreness of these prairies I sometimes feel so given over to stupid thoughts. And I will read other blogs with the same sluggishness of thought and the results tend to be that which keeps me thinking the same stupid thoughts. <br /><br />Let me share a story. We had a 2002 hyundai hatchback. Runs decently, but can't use emergency brake in winter, cleaner fluid container is broken, thus mucky windows, and dents from stupids moves and cracked front window. Know that we need to get a timing bet replaced (supposed to have been done 100,000 km ago. . .). So, been tempting to buy a new car with extremely low financing with a couple extra seats for friends and visitors and 5 year warranty. So, last Saturday we go check a car out that we have been eyeing for price, gas mileage and seating. We get approved for financing. Uh oh I think. Then (as some of you may have read on facebook) we go for lunch for the first time inside of Tim Hortons (like Dunkin Donuts for you americans :) We prefer the drive through, but kids always beg to go inside. So we go inside and the olympic torch just happens to be in there (the one that goes across the country before the ceremony begins in Vancouver) And Dan just has to go and ask if he can hold it. So, he does and I take a cheesy picture. It seemed meaningful. . . <br /><br />Just weird timing and all that. So Monday we go to the car dealership and buy a spanking brand new car. Freaky. So, now we have these monthly payments for 5 years. And a battle goes on in my mind. What if, what if, what if? What if the economy crashes and we can't afford it. What if majoy catastrophe happens? Should we be owing money. Is that right? Are we being stupid? Is this just North American luxury mindset?<br /><br />Seriously guys, I am really getting tired of these thoughts (aka worries). And I hate these onslaughts of worry. It is so pointless and lifeless. I so need to see from His vantage point, His heart. And it is this aloneness here where we are not around anyone of like mind to remind us of the Truth. Joy and peace in Jesus. Honestly guys, I have not experienced such an onslaught of doubt since I have moved to this town in the middle of the boonies (in my opinion). This last year and a half have been just brutal in the worry dept. Heart palpatations (am I having heart problems - or is it caused by worry / doubt). Constant mild flus and colds. . .<br /><br />Like man, I need some serious mind adjustments. The peace seems to be passing me by. Though there are little intervals of oasis, I truly have not experienced such intense lies of mundaness and worry til this last year. What's up with that? I know all the right terminology etc, but I am missing the constant sweetness of His presence. Pathetic.<br /><br />Okay, so, on with the story. I sleep badly the night after we buy the car. Like, what did we just do? Did we sign our lives away?! aah. Why can't I flipping turn my eyes upon Jesus. Why does it seem so blooming hard?!! Then along comes Skibby the next day. He's a guy Dan ended up working with. Like the week we moved to this town we walked down the road past this somewhat decrepit looking house with freaky dogs chained up outside barking at us. Dan is instantly repulsed by the place. I am sad for the little kid I see living there. That's the house Dan ends up asking Jesus for a while later. Then amazingly a year later Dan ends up working with the eldest boy of the family. Yep. Skibby. Parents alcoholics. Not able to be there for him. Skibby gets into trouble, the wrong crowd as he puts it. Very aware fellow. Nice looking fellow gets into the typical trouble crowd. Quits school. smokes pot. fast cars. drinking. oil rigs. And ends up working with Dan. . . Takes to Dan. They start playing hockey together. They meet just after Skibby gets into an accident (from too much speed). Things are starting to go downhill for Skibby. They all end up not getting paid from the reno they do on this persons place. He goes back to oil rig, falls off after a few days and breaks ribs. On New Years Eve I get a call on my cellphone (while I was on the way down the bigger town to do some birthday party shopping). His car that his girlfriend drove to pic him up from the airport 2 hours away broke down. They needed a lift from a town an hour away from ours. I happened to be half way there. I go and pick them up. <br /><br />He doesn't ask for much, so instead of it being a burden it was more of an honor that they thought of us to help em out. I drive em back to Canora. Then we don't hear from him for a week or so. Then he appears yesterday. Drives by while Dan is fiddling outside with the new car. They start talking. He comes inside and tells us that he is moving to Regina (the city) and needs to trade in his old truck and buy a car. His girlfriend just kicked him out. He had sold his fast red car and ended up not being ripped off. Buys a cheaper blue car and that was the one that broke down. He managed to be driving a stolen snowmobile of a 'friend' who got busted the day he was trying out this snowmobile. Gets arrested by the special ops, then released cause he actually didn;t have anything to do with the drugs and stolen stuff. He does most likely buy the pot from the guy. I know he smokes it regularly.<br /><br />So, he is feeling bruised and battered inside and out and is planning on moving to the city in the next week.<br /><br />Well Dan and I look at each other, as we had been wondering whether we should sell out old car or keep it in case we need it or give it to someone should we hear of a need for a car. So, Dan tells Skibby, 'You will have a hard time with this, but we want to give you our old car.' Skibby just sat there stunned. He couldn't take it in. He started to get weepy (not typical for this young buck) and said,'I can't believe it. I feel like I just just won the lottery.' Dan smiles ironically and says well it's not the lottery (older car), but we know that God wants you to have it. So, Dan cleans it out and we sign it over to him. Very powerful moments there! Made me feel better about buying a new car. Purpose in it right. . . Well, Skibby calls his parents to let em know and they just don't believe it. 'No one gives away a car for nothing' is what they tell him. And he tells his sister (in Regina) and his friends. The words spreads quickly in this small town and no one can believe it! Ha ha ha. You gotta love it. We thought that yes, it would affect Skibby, but we didn't realize how many people around us would be affected by it. Skibby the 'town no good kid' (for that is how he is known here) got given a decent not super old car.<br /><br />Then I read Jamies post and I weep, for the people who give out of their lack. We didn't give out of our lack, but as the timing was set up by God to give Skibby the car, it was that same teary eyed beauty of the love of God. That was what Skibby was hit by, though he doesn't understand that yet. So many in this town will say that he doesn't deserve that car. He is trouble that boy. Oh no no no. The is the very grace of God eh! No matter what happens with that car. The impression made is made.The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-75674385441705049112010-01-06T00:52:00.001-06:002010-01-06T00:55:05.127-06:00Eww, conformity<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjATEwSHkPtytTSLgJ91zdGEp0W4lCurjuC390VjsSlpCsCqdHt1RB17c_0g8uHNkh_b-U-U7TQ2AjBYD5zCqmENf87pM5JMnb30qoFqjhe4oTup8CqLfwIeepztNsolbr_vkLk79xlzGo/s1600-h/weak-link.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjATEwSHkPtytTSLgJ91zdGEp0W4lCurjuC390VjsSlpCsCqdHt1RB17c_0g8uHNkh_b-U-U7TQ2AjBYD5zCqmENf87pM5JMnb30qoFqjhe4oTup8CqLfwIeepztNsolbr_vkLk79xlzGo/s400/weak-link.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423516250636310002" /></a>The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-73235440120121907082010-01-01T16:54:00.002-06:002010-01-01T17:07:15.788-06:00New YearI have to confess that New Years celebrations rarely tend to live up to my expectation of what I think that it should be like. Problem is people are involved. Ha! So, if I were to base 'a fresh new year' on it's entrance I would be in for a miserable year. Thankfully we are not bound to one night of mediocrity determining the following days!<br /><br />So, anyway, guys, just to forewarn you next time I write a whiney post - its likely cause is that there is a whirlwind of 'spiritual activity' of which I am caught up in the eye of the storm - till suddenly it shifts and I find myself spiraling about in a wee bit of chaos. Mmm mmm mmm. So it makes me happy that He makes all things new!!!<br /><br />There have been some very cool happenings (sharing revelation times of Jesus) and some very uncool backlash (anger, condemnation and selfrighteous manifestations). What an adventure! Anyway, moving on. . . moving on. . . When I am less tired I must share some cool parallels I have come across that I think you all would enjoy!The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-23430829271552385472009-12-27T23:04:00.006-06:002009-12-27T23:45:20.083-06:00Contentment?Oh guys it was brutal today in a weird sort of brutal. . . Not deep pain and sorrow sort of brutal, but the 'church' going sort of brutal. We all went today (we never really do), but felt that for some reason we should. . . Went. Not a big group of people (we live in a small town). Most of the people we either knew or are friends with. But man! The set up. So not natural! These are people we normally laugh and joke and share with, but this setting sure does not allow for such things as that. i have to say that the longer i have been not 'attending church' the more odd it appears to me when I go. Nevertheless, it was sooooooooooooooo boring! I mean no offense to those who were trying so hard, but gee, talk about causing oneself misery. . . I went home and was so drained that I snapped at everyone and then went to bed. I couldn't fall into a deep sleep though. It was like it was just my mental state that was drained and my body couldn't follow suit and sleep. <br /><br />I am so ready to blow this joint. Yep, living here in the small prairie town has lost its luster (alright it never had luster, but you know. . .). So, no, I am not particularly content. I am rather inclined toward self pity guys. Woe is me who has so much and yet likes to complain. I have to say that I absolutely love travelling. I love driving out on the highway. I love meeting with dear friends of like mind and hanging out with my family (who are all on Van Island). We have been here over a year and we don't have good enough friends we can even just show up at their place and hang out. We were all alone at Christmas. My dear girls got all dressed up in their little outfits and had nowhere to go. They didn't seem to notice the irony, much to my relief. It's easier when you don't know what you don't have (or don't care). We live in a culture here that we don't belong in. It is like permanent culture shock. The closest friends we do have here are actually from BC as well - ha ha. <br /><br />Well, there you have it. I guess I am a little sad. And maybe going and working at the nursing home this weekend will give me some purpose here. I must confess that living out here has made me see clearly what I truly have had in the ways of friends and family. It is hard to muster up something that you don't have though. I don't have a desire to be here and either does D. And we know where we head next (most likely), but are not sure how that will happen? Ah, one step at a time. I have enjoyed the dialogue over at Joels facebook page recently. That was fun. I like being woken up like that. That was my Christmas consolation. I love to think and talk and share and encourage and be encouraged and provoke and be provoked. I love adventure (as long as I am not sick while it happens ha ha). I love the feel of the wind in my hair and the motion of the car on a highway with a far away desination. I love the life in living, the vitality in motion and the unique people I meet along the way. I need a place where I can entertain guests, yet not somewhere that keeps me in one place all the time (gypsy in my blood). I love to be hospitable and share from the core of my being the One who is my core. I need some visitors and I need to visit. I feel about to burst. I HAVE SO MUCH and I must needs share what I have!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdPZQlhTwnmiJXIQxP2WRs8FfL2L9nksuactxDOX67dsC4Nlq2xul2uUWcUrcL4urZ21UNP5h_YmXbSHNavqOpw0tSpi0MOyohUuTlfPXwPCV8LXElw2gemJ_gydUkCmEnWnCKuAuc0Cs/s1600-h/bottle_burst_action2_450.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdPZQlhTwnmiJXIQxP2WRs8FfL2L9nksuactxDOX67dsC4Nlq2xul2uUWcUrcL4urZ21UNP5h_YmXbSHNavqOpw0tSpi0MOyohUuTlfPXwPCV8LXElw2gemJ_gydUkCmEnWnCKuAuc0Cs/s400/bottle_burst_action2_450.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5420158273133101410" /></a><br /><br /><br />Have I gone on enough? I guess I will leave it at that. Good night all. I will go read some Father Brown mysteries now. . . If interested here is a link to free online Father Brown short stories: http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/c/chesterton/gk/The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-74342468779986022592009-12-25T18:16:00.002-06:002009-12-25T18:23:16.878-06:00Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!As this time of year causes us to think of new starts I will move off of that premise and say that I have great hopes for this year ahead. . . to be one where we come into a clearer and more intimate understanding of Jesus. A year where we know how free we are to abandon all our fears and temptations and relax into His works in us. A year where we are so totally compelled by His love and consumed with His love. This is what I ask for each one of us - to enter into agreement with and experience of. What more could I really ask for?!<br /><br />SO BE IT!<br /><br />I love you all!The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-32187443274519765122009-12-10T23:29:00.005-06:002009-12-11T00:14:18.027-06:00Bittersweet Memories<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YM_LWWa5qqsCHMMBxmkhnqpxPLOwKJQQEzT78iVURaJonK9EbvfHkrEeRbiP8vaDjT5-3eeKHVEiWMoQkUBAypSvkCxG36SDSsoaOjFjyWXWzJjC4T6orrTQnRrtkdx1MUIfoqiWEv0/s1600-h/IMG_0298.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YM_LWWa5qqsCHMMBxmkhnqpxPLOwKJQQEzT78iVURaJonK9EbvfHkrEeRbiP8vaDjT5-3eeKHVEiWMoQkUBAypSvkCxG36SDSsoaOjFjyWXWzJjC4T6orrTQnRrtkdx1MUIfoqiWEv0/s400/IMG_0298.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413857177255395618" /></a><br /><br /><br />We had to put our large, gentle, giant dog(half wolf and husky, shepherd, malamute) of 10 years down yesterday. What we orginally thought to be a simple shoulder problem, was quite a lot more serious than that. Bone cancer. Of course we had prayed for him to be healed, before we ever received such a prognosis, but he just didn't get better. The thing is, I didn't realize it would be this hard. I am not such as dog person as I was when I was a child. And this fellow gradually got ousted to the great outdoors after the arrival of children. And I must confess I was not the greatest or kindest owner of the old fellow. I was terrible at walking him and I let Dan do most of the caretaking of him. So, I thought that it would just be a natural progression from him lying around in the dog room area most of the time, to the time when he passed over. But no, it seems so much of our decisions have revolved around him. And so, now that he is no longer with us, we don't have to make decisions (such as traveling or house buying) based on him. Even though he was an independent dog - ran away a million times and didn't like too much cuddling, his presence was always there, always a factor in most of what we did. And it gets me, we lived in some super busy places and he ran away so much, but he ALWAYS came back and he NEVER was harmed. And then we find out he has been suffering from bone cancer. Guys, there were times he ran away and we were so frustrated and irritated that we didn't even care if he came back.<br /><br />So, why is this so brutal right now? Seriously, last night was an onslaught. The constant tempation of guilt for putting him down. The deceivers whispers were very loud to both of us last night. I haven't experience 'guilt' in a long time. It was horrid. Not surprising though.<br /><br />The word HE (aka God) spoke to Dan earlier this month was, 'Prepare for Change'. We didn't realize it would include this. Tonight I looked at real estate online that we had been looking at for a while now and it all seemed so pointless. And I know I am tired and worn out and grieving and I have seen Jesus just there stroking my hair. I know this will pass. I know this. I think I am just a little battle worn. . . And naturally grieving of course. It just seems that there is more to this than the obvious. I guess I feel let down or disappointed or disallusioned. Like Toad (our dog's name - ha ha)was more wrapped up in our hopes of what God was going to do in the future. I don't know. I could use a good dose of Joy and Vision right about now :) I would like to experience the reality of Jesus being all that right now. . .<br /><br /><br />Our last trip with him (last summer)<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMnTIirWUijNeqorK8G2UqwlAMJzSw3acodEvpr8YCbJAk55CJjtCg5LjV5jSWyWZ5J1u_r6Sa2x74Tin7qgiHoxUG-WAX1lVYcebnrYsMUJ7mVKwSRgqEHNJwfWg_AZyOwsT31wUQGVo/s1600-h/IMG_0535.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMnTIirWUijNeqorK8G2UqwlAMJzSw3acodEvpr8YCbJAk55CJjtCg5LjV5jSWyWZ5J1u_r6Sa2x74Tin7qgiHoxUG-WAX1lVYcebnrYsMUJ7mVKwSRgqEHNJwfWg_AZyOwsT31wUQGVo/s400/IMG_0535.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413853575430395938" /></a>The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-44125683711333571502009-11-23T00:18:00.002-06:002009-11-23T00:30:23.697-06:00TodayToday, my 7 year old girl came to me after we'd put her to bed with tears in her eyes. She told me how sorry she was for saying mean things that she did whenever she got angry. As this came out of left field, I asked her why she was so sad and why she wanted to apologize tonight. She said I just was thinking about it and thought about 'how I must hurt your feelings when I am so crabby and mean.'<br /><br />Of course I told her I never held it against her and that I understand how it feels to be angry and upset. . . But the amazing thing to me is that this girl can lash quite easily with her tongue. She just says what she thinks, which has been awkward at times. Quite a few times. . . She has been forthright and just plain umm not so kind. Then out of the blue, this girl comes to me with such grief cause she had a revelation that when she gets angry and says mean things to people around her that it actually hurts them. And it hurt her that it hurt them.<br /><br />It made me teary eyed seeing such beautiful transparency from my little girl who had such a big revelation of the other person. She came to apologize because she saw the effects her word can have on others. She saw clearly and wanted to make it right. I wasn't angry at her or holding anything against her. She just had to do it cause she SAW. No obligation, just revelation. Such a softness manifested! So wonderful to see!The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-36449554458755515482009-11-01T00:46:00.002-06:002009-11-01T01:25:55.742-06:00Trees and LawsSo, I picked up a book I'd not read in quite a time. Title: There were Two Trees in the Garden - Rick Joyner (I believe one of his first books from a long long time ago). <br /><br />It was like I had never read it before. <br /><br />The cool thing was that is was the early morning of my 35th birthday and it was so reveletory power packed that I knew it was my birthday gift from Fader God. Can't outdo His gifts! Even an ipod touch and bike trainer can't outdo his gifts :)<br /><br />So, a few sentences in I read how The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Law have the same ministry. Think about that a sec. It's a doozy! Satan tempted Eve, 'You will be like God, knowing both good and evil.' They ate, their eyes were opened, and they saw themselves - naked. Hmm. And the law does what? Reveals things as they are. The law makes you look at yourself. Before they ate of that fruit looking at themselves was a non issue. <br /><br />So the seed of death and condemnation was planted via Adam and Eve partaking of that fruit. That FRUIT spread it's seed through mans seed. God sends his seed via Jesus. The seed of the tree of life that man no longer had the privelege to eat of - cast out of the garden, tree guarded by some groovy angels. So Holy Spirit seed impregnates virgin. This girl birthes Jesus into the world BORN OF A DIFFERENT SEED. Did you hear that? Jesus was born of the Spirit. First born of many. That seed had to die in order for the seed to spread. We are partakers of His divine nature. We have been born again. Born of the Spirit of God. New creations in an old body. Isn't that so absolutely amazing??!! <br /><br />So, the old seed's power is cancelled out. We are no longer subject to the ill effects of fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. We no longer have to be SELF concious- we are no longer naked ,cause Jesus is our clothing. So, we are hidden in Jesus. No longer hiding under leaves, or sacrificing animals for our covering. We are back in the garden again. We have been transferred from the Kingdom of Darkness into the Kingdom of Light. Pheeenomenalll. This my dear friends is fact. We are what we are and what we are is totally perfect new clean pure holy creations. Of Holy Spirit seed. This is what you are if you accept Jesus's covering, His Life, His Power. . . Much of 'christendom' still operates as though we were still of the Kingdom of darkness. Still subject to the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And much that appears good to the undiscerning eye, is actually empowered by Self rather than God, powered by Law, by the tree of knowing good and evil. 'I will ascend the heights' I will I will. Stop man. It is taken care of. If you don't receive the FINISHED work of Jesus you are essentially are saying that you are better than God. You are putting yourself above God. Who are you? Either receive the finished work or go try to accomplish in your own strength what has already been accomlished. What arrogance for us to even contemplate taking the place of God. Sheer lunacy really. Why take the place of God (pride) when He has already taken our place (humility). Insanity and arrogance go hand in hand.<br /><br />Why even attempt the impossible when the impossible has already been done for us?!!The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-72658772865174906512009-09-16T00:08:00.003-06:002009-09-16T00:09:45.228-06:00fastingDecided it was time for me to post something, even if it not really much. I must, at least, say hi. Hi. Got a question for you fine feathered friends: What's your experience and opinion and understanding on fasting? Eh?The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-79846609483480713482009-08-24T12:30:00.002-06:002009-08-24T13:02:28.797-06:00God is so neatSo, we deliberated over spending money and popping down to the nearest city (2 hours away) for a night at a fun hotel and a visit to the science centre and golf course etc. Casting our frugal inclinations to the wind we decided it would be a great weekend to go and off we went. I had made reservations for a restaurant at the golf course for Sat night and after our visit to the Science centre that afternoon we headed off to the restaurant with google maps in my head. . . Lo and behold we could not find the place for the life of us. I had the intructions vaguely in my head and I could not find my bunch of maps I'd printed off. So, finally we give up and try some restaurants on the periphial of the city. All of the ones we stopped at had long wait times. An hour later starving and considering resorting to fast food we decided to go to the downtown core where our hotel was and where there were a bunch of neat restaurants that we assumed would be just as busy. But no, they weren't. In fact the restaurant we were in had only one other couple in the room with us.<br /><br />Dan and I decided to share a greek platter, but had to agree whether we would have rice, potatoes, or pasta. I declared to the waiter that we would have the pasta as i don't care for rice or potatoes much. Dan rolled his eyes and made some snide comment about me making the "mutual" decision. The waiter laughed and made a comment about his wife doing the same thing. I just shook my head in mock dismay, for I really am not that controlling of a person (just sometimes :))<br /><br />Anyway, it was a quiet meal. Didn't really talk to the waiter too much, but Dan suggested that we leave him a large tip to take his wife out. There was no 'logical' reason for that. Just something he had the urge to do. I thought that was a great idea. After supper I took the kids ahead and walked back to the hotel while Dan payed the bill and drove the car back to the hotel. When Dan finally arrived he told me that he gave the waiter a large tip and asked him if he had any kids. The waiter told him that he had one and it was the reason he and his wife were still together. He went on and told them that he and his wife were in couselling trying to work on their marriage. . . Dan then told him that the reason why he gave him a large tip was so that he could take his wife out. The guy looked at Dan strangely and told him that tonight was the first time they have had a chance to to go out alone in a long long time and that he was taking her out that very night. Dan's response was a laugh and then,'It looks like God's got you covered then.' And then he went on his way. . . <br /><br />God is so complicatedly amazing!!! In other words, hard to comprehend His ways. The timing, the placement, the strategy of His love!The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-40329475591493622662009-08-11T13:49:00.000-06:002009-08-11T13:50:02.874-06:00Deep Thoughts"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes."<br /><br />by Jack HandyThe Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-29000979238681065412009-08-08T01:28:00.003-06:002009-08-08T01:45:53.697-06:00I am free to love without conditionSo guys, I am really excited right now. Just had to get up out of bed, cause my mind was spinning with delight. You should have seen it. . . Anyway, I've been reading Steve McVey's 'The Divine Invitation' and finally got to the last chapter tonight. I have to say the last 2 chapters of the extended version are the ones that hit me most profoundly. He saved the best for last (in my humble opinion - hardy har har). So, I get to the last chapter and all he is speaking about is loving unconditionally. And I start to see that 'Yes! This is what I want to do!' For some reason I have been under some illusion that I had to practice restraint and discernment with whom I would actually love. Now, I am naturally a reserved person, so I am not saying I am going to go up hugging every person I see and pouring out lavish words of affirmation. But something is different. I wish I could explain what i am feeling better. Let me just say that I feel that I have been hindered, in some way bound from being permitted to love the unlovely. There are various reasons I am sure, but part of it must have felt like a work and part of it felt that it was unwise. What utter nonsense. Just cause a person is going down stupid road doesn't mean that I shouldn't lavish love upon them. And any person i am free to love. Can you believe it?! Can you believe that I haven't felt free to love unconditionally?! I don't really understand it myself. All I know now is that this is my hearts longing. I desire to pour out His love (the way He loves me) upon any and everyone! This is my desire. I want Him to just pour through me. That is it. What an utter privelege. By all means, feel free to ask Him to keep me in the light of this love of His. This is good stuff. I don't feel obligated anymore. I don't know why I felt obligated before, but suffice it to say that I sure like this freedom I am experiencing!<br /><br />There you go.The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-1373313666177171272009-08-02T22:27:00.007-06:002009-08-02T23:04:12.965-06:00To Love and Feed People<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRBcl-bpA38DMG-usqR4hRdsaUXygTBgki-xuBzIhwCq43p9vktzzD1nygZrXeBulgBQjlxjQiLP4iOuHtrikfGHrE5JxRvUu7eHfZmjYsed1IN-gn0sp6j6I8Yw6AtQUGaS0ob0Q_U2Y/s1600-h/IMG_0823.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRBcl-bpA38DMG-usqR4hRdsaUXygTBgki-xuBzIhwCq43p9vktzzD1nygZrXeBulgBQjlxjQiLP4iOuHtrikfGHrE5JxRvUu7eHfZmjYsed1IN-gn0sp6j6I8Yw6AtQUGaS0ob0Q_U2Y/s400/IMG_0823.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5365597241490418370" /></a><br /><br />I get such a kick out of the name of this cookbook. . . You can see the point is: If you love someone why would you feed them garbage? Well, at least that is what I get from it. There is much food out there, being prepared by massive corporations, that is being consumed by the vast majority of North America, much to their physical demise. Much to their demise because the foods are filled with toxins and shortcuts and sucked dry of almost any natural nutrient. It looks good, but appearances can be quite deceptive. . . Much of what a person eats nowadays is artificial or tainted. And you can see the results walking around us and in the hospitals around us everyday. Gee, I sound like a health freak. But I say this because I see the parallels in the spirit. The core reason why we are receiving and eating this substandard food is greed. Not necessarily personal greed, but greed of a large entity that is unable to function out of love and therefore produces fruit worthy of it's tree. It is so large and the benefits of producing cheap filler is so much more enticing than the thought of benefitting the one to whom it goes.<br /><br />We have a friend who loves to quote the phrase,'What happens is the natural happens in the spirit.' <br /><br />How true it is. How many people are fed toxic belief, which they tend to assume is adaquate nourishment? But if they were to see the actual effect it has on a body they would be much more likely to turn to truly nutritious food. Garbage in garbage out. . . It is the ones who have seen the negative consequences of consuming toxic food who "radically" call the devil's bluff for the sake of letting the consumers know that there is a greater way. Feed on Jesus. Drink of Him. Stop imbibing these in TOXIC ating poisons. . . <br /><br />It is the reason for these blogs. HE is the reason for these blogs. To be a voice in the wilderness. To call out to those who have been travelling the road of false beginnings and feeding off the lies of the destroyer. To speak truth where there has been lies. To speak life where there has been death. To speak freedom where there has been condemnation. To speak joy where there has been sorrow. This is our call, our natural inclination which stems from tasting and seeing the Lord is good. We are no longer compelled by obligation. We are compelled by love. And therefore, we walk as our firstborn brother walks, with the simple desire to love and feed as we ourselves have been. We can't not. He is in us.The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-18208913377695368402009-08-01T23:57:00.000-06:002009-08-01T23:58:26.797-06:00A Time To Rest<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs9-ZXD90ROnG1V7yKQesF3lug68SbBAmEk9WAJizhr8HGOaZlavWkr09mg0Bhe-XEM751IabZHAdAjFFsdsMASMTUw5PXpQA9SbEe023GvxShPSQy3ozz1BMy7vNrvc_9Pm6VooOMw_M/s1600-h/November+047+adjusted.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs9-ZXD90ROnG1V7yKQesF3lug68SbBAmEk9WAJizhr8HGOaZlavWkr09mg0Bhe-XEM751IabZHAdAjFFsdsMASMTUw5PXpQA9SbEe023GvxShPSQy3ozz1BMy7vNrvc_9Pm6VooOMw_M/s400/November+047+adjusted.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5365241616104051842" /></a>The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-36283844117924397942009-07-27T01:58:00.008-06:002009-07-27T02:50:13.350-06:00How Then Shall I Live?So, here's the issue. I dislike rejection. I don't like disunity with those to whom I am close and I fear I move out of people pleasing far too much. I don't know any other way really. Hence it appears I am under some bizarre sort of people pleasing law in order to garner approval and ultimately have my own way. I have these momentary revelations of freedom from having to live up to a standard that I am unable to meet, but it seems I have great difficulty living that revelation out. Meaning the revelation fades and here I am, once again, attempting to gain the approval and desire of, say, the one I am married to. My dear friend and cohort. Honestly, I have known that I will never measure up to his perfect artist's eyes standards. And he has never expected me to. But there is something in me that so badly wants to be that perfect mate in all ways and I know that I fail miserably. And then I know that is stupid, that I am trying to be something I am not, and not only that, something that there is no need for me to be. And I wonder why I am trying to be something that I am not able to be and what is driving me to try to do something I am not able to do. Why am I living like this?!!<br /><br />And then I go to the "should" arena. There I berate myself for not deriving my satisfaction from God's perspective of me. That I am totally beautiful and desirable to Him (if nobody else). And I say to myself, 'That should be enough'. But, quite frankly I don't believe I have had a strong enough revelation of His love for me and I am still looking for approval in other places, from other persons. I have this idea of this wonderful romance (I got it from hearing about God's love for us) and I so badly want to have that sort of romance on this planet with my spouse. There-in lies the rub. My earthly love has no such aspirations and wouldn't understand why I might have such desires - ha. And I wonder to myself. What can I do to receive all my acceptance from my saviour, so that I stop looking for it here on this earth. I have heard stories of people who have been like me. Who have people pleased and peace made in order to live a comfortable life, in order to be liked and loved, in order to have this specatular earthly romance. And i am helpless. Helpless to move from truth that has yet to be manifested in really bright colours. I am still desring to be desirable to this one on earth. I can't do anything about that. All I can do is ask Him to delive me from this quandry.<br /><br />It's not that I feel this way all the time. But I do know that I move from the need to be loved in a way that is not always going to happen. And I really really want to move from my identity in Jesus. I really really really want to be emptied of all these self serving desires that war within me to live for the approval of man. But I know the only way I can live free of that is to know (experience) the reality and complete fulfilment of my father's love for me. Is that possible on this earth. Do I ask too much to be overcome with His life, His love whilst traversing this planet. Or must I stay in this place of contention until I die and fully enter glory? It has been too long (in my opinion of course)! I am tired of living my life trying to seek another man's approval. I am tired of trying so hard. And yet it seems like I don't know anything different. <br /><br />I just had to be brutally honest tonight because I got frustrated tonight and had to vent. And because I want to be totally transparent. I don't want to that deceptive place where I only speak of good things and then silence in my struggles. Here I am. Naked and exposed before you. Nothing hidden. I rather like that. . . I don't have it all together. I cannot glory it my efforts. My efforts, they are futile. I just need to know how to rest and recieve my papa's complete acceptance. I just want to move in this place candidly. I kinda am insecure sometimes. I am kinda needy sometimes - though I am aware that comes from my lack of awareness of His extravagant love for me. So, I am pestering Him to let me sojourn this place with an indelible comprehension of His love that blasts through any nasty insecure lies which attempt to flood my mind. <br /><br />Identity.<br /><br />I even look for admiration in the way I write. Must dress myself carefully. Must present my words carefully. Must care about the impression I make on someone else. Ugh. Somebody help me. . . <br /><br />So, there you go. Had to blurt all this pent-up stuff out tonight.The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-83558291974092861512009-07-06T23:33:00.007-06:002009-07-07T00:44:09.659-06:00Freedom from the sneakiest chains<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEcYydhZ24AAvcec-YWW2TeQzmRbZdJy0aPyWp3aX15hAGfnys-Oz8UleCkw43LFTPTe2w5e8dGxcMVZZf77Xg6kliyFrJ865O3_I0BEyS1w-wBgII2R8XCC3tEVdhWiIRwShNdiXDDc/s1600-h/chains.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 208px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEcYydhZ24AAvcec-YWW2TeQzmRbZdJy0aPyWp3aX15hAGfnys-Oz8UleCkw43LFTPTe2w5e8dGxcMVZZf77Xg6kliyFrJ865O3_I0BEyS1w-wBgII2R8XCC3tEVdhWiIRwShNdiXDDc/s320/chains.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355589378813894338" /></a><br /><br /><br />So, last night was interesting and very encouraging and refreshing. We have some friends here (okay they are our only good friends here) who moved out here at the same time (a year ago) and now Dan works for them. . . God has been doing some very cool things in their thinking in this last year. And last night while we were over at their house for supper we found ourselves in the midst of a truly meaningful conversation. It started when P shared how he has been trying so hard to get out of debt and yet he still managed to spend money on unnecessary luxuries and it was really getting him down. He would look at the tv he just spent a decent amount of money on and berate himself for buying it. We also discussed healthy eating and how hard it was to eat healthy and get fit. . . So, I start seeing quite clearly that yes, I do the same things (think the same things sometimes too) and basically it is so easy to feel like failures due to a lack of "self discipline"<br /><br />Basically, he started bemoaning the fact that he felt so bound by this inability to get out of debt. It began to occur to me that he was under a law, an expectation (I know, I know, I am brilliant - ha ha). Dan went over and laid hands on him and silently prayed for him. After which I thought I would dare to bring up the fact that Jesus didn't say the same things that he was saying to himself ( such as, 'I am a failure' 'What an idiot. . ') So if Jesus wasn't saying that, why was he saying that to himself. In fact Jesus took the blame for all our selfish and vain and just plain dumb moves. Jesus wasn't berating him for not getting out of debt. In fact, Jesus was saying the opposite. He was telling him,'You are free. You are not a slave to debt. You are not a slave to tempting foods. . .' 'That is a lie!' It is so easy to focus our eyes on the cares and riches of this world who shout out in opposition to the freedom found in Jesus' FINISHED work. And that is what had been happening to P. He was being pounded down by looking at his inability to live "smartly and wisely as a christian should".<br /><br />And it was so much fun to see a glimmer of revelation spark from his eyes. And to see the load that he had been carrying for so long to start to fall from his shoulders. And it was so fun for me to be reminded of this truth. That we didn't need to get all caught up in our actions again. That we are free and we do not have to live in this world according to the standards of most everyone else. That we are not bound by debt. Even if we presently owe money we don't have to take on the burden. We are free. We don't have to worry about money. He knows better than us what we have need of on this strange planet. He is not limited by our financial "woes". Neither then do we have to be. It is so much fun when we truly know who's hand we are really in!!! What a relief!<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6QhZT_YRCgehziF97YDdaEL1xycf5a_hJ6rOwCLSQnQF_R1OkJrPc25ySw_7FwtXMVBurq40vhNmqkyLkrp46zQDhay-nk3quOJxQkxA4cOGbDExqgYgKaxfKUox6NelPBF6uGGweC2I/s1600-h/hand+in+hand.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6QhZT_YRCgehziF97YDdaEL1xycf5a_hJ6rOwCLSQnQF_R1OkJrPc25ySw_7FwtXMVBurq40vhNmqkyLkrp46zQDhay-nk3quOJxQkxA4cOGbDExqgYgKaxfKUox6NelPBF6uGGweC2I/s320/hand+in+hand.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355605219318726050" /></a>The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1472738686788181312.post-4787482186972058372009-06-16T23:48:00.002-06:002009-06-17T00:23:50.155-06:00Vacating the premises<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtOnFEHmWxE5c7Wr4Pr_orL4VOTCIF-9lbO-_8NwIQPRr2BlZiqbG6L0tN6Y9SX3xcze-73InUxisp7P8zIHcruBu2WMVL3lnBg6QawQOIt57ustU-1fSy2YSQwXMfhyphenhyphentV6y0Py7aqJ1Q/s1600-h/IMG_0514.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtOnFEHmWxE5c7Wr4Pr_orL4VOTCIF-9lbO-_8NwIQPRr2BlZiqbG6L0tN6Y9SX3xcze-73InUxisp7P8zIHcruBu2WMVL3lnBg6QawQOIt57ustU-1fSy2YSQwXMfhyphenhyphentV6y0Py7aqJ1Q/s400/IMG_0514.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348178231166285810" /></a><br /><br />So, we just got back from a trip to the Kootenays. It's a beautiful mostly rainforested mountian region in the lower mid-eastern part of British Columbia. We felt we needed to go check out some land there. I have to say it was quite refreshing! It is a rather hippy / european - outdoorsy / yuppie sort of place. People tend to be a lot more laid-back - toddlers at work with their parents. Friendly, easy-going attitudes, very much searching and dabbling with the the spiritual realm. So, it's a unique and stunning place, where you don't have to brush your hair or teeth everyday. . .<br /><br />Just thought I would inform you all as to my whereabouts lately:)<br /><br />Now contending with a bit of a cold - must sleep. .The Lewis Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10131747888736412319noreply@blogger.com7