A few years ago, while I was attending a Missions College, the Lord began burning on my heart the desire to KNOW Him, not just about Him. I also really wanted to know what Jesus had really done on the cross. I knew my sins were forgiven, but I knew there was far more to that than I had yet come across. Of course I was taking all sorts of bible classes and I was attaining much knowledge, but it was intellectual and I just was not satisfied. I was just being taught someone elses “theology”, someone elses “experience” with the Living God. There was such a hunger burning in me and yet I thought that I would never be able to attain what I desired. Soon a verse started coming into my head that I could not get away from: ‘Lean not on your own understanding’.
A few months passed and I found myself just being completely honest with a friend and admitting that my motives, a lot of the time, were not pure. A few days after that I went out to coffee with a couple friends who I’d just begun to get to know at the College. We ended up at a Denny’s like restaurant called Embers. It was midnight and there were prostitutes and transvestites and drunkards all around us. And in that place my friend Dan was sharing something that the Lord had shown a few of them a few days ago. It was a picture of what Jesus had done on the cross. But it was a picture I had never seen before.
It was a picture of an endless tunnel of light that shot through the universe. And that Tunnel was Jesus, what He had done on the cross when He cried out, ‘It is Finished’. It was a tunnel of light that had no beginning and no end. And what made up the tunnel was righteousness, holiness, sinlessness. . . And we saw that when we put our faith in Jesus we were instantly transferred into this tunnel and immersed in it. We became part of that tunnel. And we partook of every aspect of that tunnel, every aspect of Jesus and what He had done FOR us.
I saw (truly saw – not intellectually) that I was totally Holy, totally pure, totally righteous only because of what Jesus had done FOR me. That I was FREE! Free from my self. Free, free, free. . . Free from striving to be sinless and holy and righteous in my own effort.
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