I can't believe that it has been over a month since I last wrote. Can I blame it on the fact that I have small children? Okay, so I live in a small town, homeschool my oldest (the other 2 are not yet school age), have a couple dogs and have very few friends that I hang out with here (as we recently moved to Saskatchewan) and yet I feel so busy. That is nuts. I don't work and my husband doesn't even work more than 34 hours a week. So, you would look at my situation and think that I've got it good. And really, I do! But I can't figure out where the time goes!!
I sometimes want to move to some needy place in Africa, so that I know that at least my busyness is spent on worthwhile endevours. I have no fear of not measuring up when I die and transfer from here to There, but I do have this constant sense of not wanting to waste my time on earth on frivolous things, when I could be spending it on eternal things of value. So, I don't think it's an identity thing, but rather a genuine urge for spending my time on things of eternal value. And yes, I do consider my family and friends "things" of eternal value. I am talking more of the lifestyle thing. Spending my free time redecorating our house, or watching some tv show, or whatever else. But you know what? I don't live by myself. I don't have the option of popping up and heading for Mozambique and running an orphanage. Dan and I would have to be of like mind in such a move and right now I am the only one who feels this way. It's really not in my hands. I just have to leave this in my Fathers hands, because He is the only one who can sort this all out and place me in the most perfect location.
Okay, so I love it when He sends people our way who are so ready to receive the GRACE of God. Maybe it just feels a little quiet now and I am trying to over analyze everything instead of basking in the pure wonderfulness of God. Yep, I think I am in dire need of basking. If you are reading this, feel free to ask Him to bring me to that lovely spot of revelling in His love and being filled up to overflowing with His love, reality, joy, peace, patience. Tired of my fruits. Not so tasty anymore! Just want to move from His percpective, His power, His life, His love. . . !
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