So this last week or so has been interesting. . .
I won't go into too much detail, but I do have to say that God surely works in mysterious ways! Very neat, very unexpected.
I feel like I have been severely "pruned" (thanks for the picture Jamie!)the last few years and am starting to see the blossoms appear again. It hasn't been bad or full of suffering, but it has been a definite honing.
Anyway, homeschooling my 7 years old (eldest). Lately she has been especially trying and been begging to go to school (she is very social). I have been hemming and hawing. Not so sure about that. But wondering if she is miserable since she wants to be at school like other kids. Sometimes i think, yeah, that would be a relief. And then I think, no, i have this privelege to spend this much time with my child before she no longer is a child. . . And various other thoughts. So i am asking God about this, not sure what to do. Open for whatever. And all I really get is walk forward, do not go to the left or the right.
But I want a different answer. My daughter has such a bad attitude (flare-ups - not constant) and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I think maybe she would be happier at school. . . But is that the reason to send her? All I know is that I have a check in my spirit and there isn't necessarily a logical answer.
So, I talk to my Father and tell him that I really don't know what to do here. It isn't clear. Please do something with her. I am unable.
A few days later. . . We watch the movie 'The Ten Commandments' with Christian Slater's voice as the voice of Moses. God is after that guy. Anyway, the kids watch it, even River (who is just 21 months now). The girls capture me after I put River to bed (D puts the girls to bed) and question me about Moses and the power of God etc. i answer them rather quickly as I have to pee and want to go downstairs and relax. But "something" tells me to wait it out. And i realize that finally my daughter is genuinely interested in "receiving the power of God". Don't get me wrong. We have shared many things with her and she has seen and understood many things. But there has always been this uncercurrent of resistance from her when it actually came down to her having a conversation with God. She can't wait to go to heaven and has told people she can't wait to die. . . But there was this certain resistance to us praying for her unless she was sick. . .
It was different last night. She wanted to 'receive the power of the Holy Spirit'. So, I asked God to fill her and she was wholeheartedly with me for the first time. My firstborn child who just turned 7. . . And then she says to me, now pray from Adielle, i want to talk to God right now. She has never said that. And she was so eager for Adielle to experience what she was receiving. Adielle is 4 and much different in temperment (though very stubborn as well - who did they get that from?). So, I ask Adielle and she says yes. So, I ask God to fill her as well - with her in total agreement. And as I am leaving the room Galena tells me,'I just love God. He is the best in the world'. Now she has sung these things, made up lovely songs about God and all sorts of pictures for God etc, but this was different! It was a sort of a grown up receptivity done with her will. If that makes sense. . . and her attitude is different. No, she still lashes out at her sister and brother (of course I Never do such things as that. . . cough cough), but there isn't that wrangling and resistance there was before.
Who would have guessed that watching 'The Ten Commandments' would lead to such a wonderful thing. My one prayer for my children is that they would fall in love with their Father and Saviour! That is all I really want for them in this life. I don't care how well or how badly they do "in school" or dance or anything else, as long as they know the love of God and receive his love. What more could I ask for for anyone. It all STEMS from His love. . .
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