You know, I also wonder why it (life here on this planet) is so confusing, so convoluted that it is hard to know what I am to believe sometimes. That is my biggest frustration really. And the only thing that quells that particular frustration is if I refuse to think about it and I just worship Him. I would really like a clear cut answer to things, such as why some people get healed and why some don't. And whether I should ask Him for something or not. Sometimes I feel so spiritually clueless, so out of touch with His Spirit and I wonder why it has to be like this whilst I journey this strange land. Does it have to be that way?!!

Sometimes I feel so disorganized and out of control (which would be fine if it didn't seem to have such an adverse affect on the kids - such as me losing my temper with them etc). There are times when His presence is so obvious and there are times when His presence is so not. . . Why can't I float through this life so clear and in His presence and understanding and oh. . . Would that sort of sight cause me to lose sight of my need for Him? What happens when my corruption is swallowed up in incorruption? Why can't that happen now? Do I sound like a whining child. . . Ha ha Just questions that pop up late at night. I figured I would throw these musings out for people to help knock me back into alignment (in my thinking). I guess I just want clarity. I want to have His perspective on everything. I want to have clear and constant comunication. I don't want to be guessing so often. i just want to fly with Him and stay in the place of hindrance free communication. Why does it have to be so blooming difficult sometimes?!! Why am I not always yielded to Him?